I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
