Whatcha textin bout Willis?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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