As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
