I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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