piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
