naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He called his prostate his "boner button".
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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