why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
