I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
