Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I supernannyed him into submission
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
