smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
