i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
