at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
That accounts for only three of the penises
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
