GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
3pm strippers are depressing
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
