i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
