i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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