i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
