I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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