I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
