RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
