I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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