barbara walters just said penis...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
