She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize