Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
