Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
