I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
