hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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