Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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