why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
