I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
