Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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