he shaved USA in his pubs
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
