i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
