I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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