My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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