Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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