Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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