I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
i think im in europe. pls send help
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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