the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
