You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize