So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
