WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
