Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
