I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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