I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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