I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
so much tequila, so little girl.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
