my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
