the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
