Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
