You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
