i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
