She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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