im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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