hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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