I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
