he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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