So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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