i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
