Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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