Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
