WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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